May the Best Man Win
by lunaschild
Summary: Boys will be boys...  A silly little nonsense one-shot that could be considered A/U.


**Disclaimer: I shall never own neither Final Fantasy XII nor its characters.**

**A/N:** A little bit of nonsense because from time to time, you just have to write something so far-fetched and silly. At least that is my excuse... A bit of Penelo love with no direct pairing, but you're more than welcome to make your own assumptions. I'm afraid the piece is un-beta'd so all errors are mine, but hopefully it is readable enough. Thanks to all who take the time to read this through and thanks to those who review! Enjoy!

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**May the Best Man Win**

Normally, nothing concerned Vaan. Unless it had something to do with airships or pirating, but he couldn't help feeling suspicious of the actions around him. He wasn't usually this observant, but it was so obvious that he was having trouble trying to understand why _she_ couldn't see it.

"I'm tellin' ya Penelo," he pleaded in exasperation.

"Vaan, are you feeling okay?" She went to put a hand to his forehead, _again_.

He shoved her hand forcefully away. "Ya know what…"

"You should not behave so roughly, Vaan." Basch's gruff voice came from behind him, making him jump. "Is everything alright Penelo?"

She smiled warmly at the ex-knight. "Everything's fine," she sing-songed and stuck her tongue out at Vaan before wandering off.

Vaan rolled his eyes and then turned towards Basch. The young man narrowed his eyes at the elder, but got no visible response. Basch just crossed his arms and stared down at him. With a thrust of his chin, Vaan made his displeasure known before chasing after Penelo. Basch gave a tiny smirk.

Vaan caught up with her only to find Balthier walking beside her. She was giggling in that girlish way that made him sick to his stomach. He ran up quickly and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the sky-pirate.

"Vaan!" she exclaimed.

"I need ta talk to you," he muttered angrily.

Balthier put a rough hand on his shoulder. "Not in that way you shan't. Truly Vaan have you no manners at all?"

"No he doesn't!" Penelo huffed angrily and wrenched her arm free before storming off.

Vaan turned on Balthier. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" The sky-pirate's shock was laced with amusement.

Basch had strolled over upon hearing Penelo's angry outburst.

"Both of you!" Vaan's finger hovered between the pair accusingly.

Basch crossed his arms and threw a questioning glance to Balthier. Balthier couldn't hide the smirk as he cocked his head in amusement.

"I haven't the faintest idea to what you are rambling about," Balthier said snidely.

"Like hells you don't," Vaan growled. "Just…just…leave her alone, both of you."

"Ah but I'm afraid we can't do that," the brunette drawled, finally catching on.

Basch cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but remained silent.

"I don't play fair boy and in this game, Penelo is a very lovely prize. It's every man for himself and may the best man win." Balthier winked and tried his best not to laugh.

Basch's eyes narrowed at the brunette. "Balthier, she is…"

"I'm a game?" The question was deliberately slow and held no hint of warmth in the words.

All three men turned to find one very angry little blonde glaring back at them. She had her hands perched on her hips and a small foot tapping angrily on the dirt, causing a little dust cloud to form.

"And here I thought you were all so nice," she said, her eyes watery and her lips in a set pout.

Basch strode towards her with a very apologetic look on his face. Balthier shoved in front of the knight, his hand outstretched imploringly. Vaan grabbed the sky-pirate's arm and pulled him back. The pirate jerked into the knight who stumbled back on to the thief and soon the lot of them were jumbled on the ground.

Penelo tilted her head and stared at them in disbelief. They were shoving at each other and curses were being slung. Every time one managed to gain his footing another would bring him back down. It was comical and soon all three ladies were watching this display of base male behavior at its best.

"What are they doing?" Ashe asked, her brows creasing in a concerned puzzlement.

Penelo smirked. "Apparently they're playing a game."

"A game?" Ashe looked incredulously at the grown men wrestling on the ground.

Fran shook her head and smirked.

"Why?" Ashe dared to ask.

"Balthier said something about a best man winning," Penelo said offhandedly with a shrug.

"You will not choose then?" Fran asked as she smiled down at the blonde.

"Nope," Penelo said with a grin, rocking on her heels.

"You agreed to be the judge of this game?" Ashe questioned dubiously.

Penelo grinned at her. "Nope."

Ashe put a hand to her forehead. Penelo gave her a friendly pat on the back. Fran stared at the tumble of men still rolling on the ground. The three were now completely oblivious to the females that stood watching them.

"Well, I'm bored," Penelo stated as she turned to walk away.

Ashe followed her. "Should we just leave them like that?" she questioned tossing a glance over her shoulder.

"It is best they solve this on their own," Fran said sagely.

"But would it not be easiest if Penelo just chose a winner?"

"There won't be a winner," Penelo said loudly in hopes the three on the ground were listening.

The scuffle died down immediately. "Why not!" exclaimed Vaan indignantly.

And the three women turned around to look at them. Vaan was sporting two black eyes, Balthier a busted lip, and Basch had a series of bite marks along his arm. Penelo crossed her arms and took two very agitated steps towards them.

"Because none of you are acting like men," she scolded. "Now get up and clean yourselves off or you can bet that you'll be going to bed without supper."

The three looked dumbly at her. Her blue eyes narrowed and a little finger pointed in the direction she expected them to march. They jumped up immediately and obeyed.

Now that the situation was obvious, Ashe couldn't help but laugh. Fran joined her as the two watched the petite, plaited woman herd the three grown men. Penelo's displeasure could be heard throughout the area.

"And if you think for one second that I would ever consider choosing any one of you after that, you're all mad!" she reprimanded. She then muttered, "I'm better off with Larsa."

The three men groaned in concert.


End file.
